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Colins Crushers
Crushers2
Tier Level Custom
League Number edwards
Date Founded October 29, 2008
Season Founded Season 1
City Evergreen, Alberta
Home Arena Crusherdome
Colours Black, Blue, White
General Manager Canada Colin Parada
Head Coach Canada Lanny Elvin
Captain Canada Maximo Deschambeault
Play-off Wins 1
Play-off Finalists 2

Colins Crushers are a professional hockey team based out of Evergreen, Alberta, Canada. They are members of the Edwards Leagueof the GHL.

Franchise HistoryEdit

After years of picking pop and beer cans along the ditches of Alberta's Highway 11, Colin Parada finally gathered together enough money to start his own hockey club, the Crushers. The name came from his many years of crushing cans so he could fit more in his shopping cart.

Parada searched the Alberta penal system for the brightest young stars he could find.

With the proceeds of the first 2 tickets sold to their inaugural game, Parada then proceeded to bathe, clip off excess body hair and buy his first suit.

Well groomed and read to start his new career, Parada concentrated on making sure the Crushers were a well oiled machine.

Season 1Edit

The first regular season found the Crushers at the top of the league heading into the playoffs. Like a free square on the bingo card, the Crushers swept an AI team to move onto the second round where they faced the Eagles. The Eagles, primarily made up of 6th graders, were no match for the Crushers. Signs the Crushers fans made up consisted of "See You Next Year When You Have Pubes" and "A Wet Bed In The Morning IS Normal!".

The final game pitted Jack Flash against the Crushers. Not wanting to be emotionally involved with the games, Flash owner Jack Dewald and Crushers owner Colin Parada escaped to Cuba. Unfortunately they had to take their wives and Eldonsreallydecentguys owner Eldon Spears. Parada and Dewald felt sorry for Spears and asked him to tag along, as long as he buys drinks.

Tied up going into Game three, Crusher owner Parada searched all over Havana for a VooDoo doll but all he found was a hangover. Sorrow followed that night as the Flash defeated the favored Crushers. After shaking hands with Flash owner Dewald and congratulating him on his victory, Parada is quoted as saying "Stupid Jack."

Season 2Edit

CaptaincyEdit

Season 2 - Jan 2009 - Present - After shitting the bed in the post season, Trinkle was the first to be traded. "Leaders lead and losers get traded" said Parada after the trade. Maximo Deschambeault was signed as a free agent at the start of Season 2 and was handed the captaincy. "We wanted to sign a player that used almost every letter of the alphabet in his name and then throw another C in there for extra measure" Parada said after being asked "Why Mad Max?"

Season 1 - Oct 2008 - Jan 2009 - Quintin Trinkle was signed as a free agent on October 24th, 2008. Trinkle brings 12 years of experience in the GHL to the Crushers. The Crushers look to Trinkle to mold the youth that has been drafted into this organization. Trinkle's hobbies include quilting and needlepoint.

Head CoachesEdit

Season 1 - Oct 2008 - Present - Lanny Elvin has coached in the GHL for 5 Seasons. His 6th season brings him to the Crushers. Elvin has a great way of showing younger players the fine art of the game of hockey. Now that he is off the sexual predators list, Elvin is ready to start a new chapter in his life.


Retired NumbersEdit

None

Our New HomeEdit

Below is a picture of the CrusherDome. Currently holding 15,000 seats, the CrusherDome has the ability to incorperate up to 22,000 seats. The CrusherDome also houses a small mall with 50 stores including a Tim Hortons, allowing you to grab a coffee and warm up in the Arena portion when some stupid retard forgets to turn the heat on at least 2 hours before game time.

The CrusherDome is also home to the Crusher Casino and Family Fun Centre. While the kids frolic in the ball pit and play games, Mom & Dad can blow their college fund in the Casino.

Just down from the Casino is Little Miss Crushers Hotel And Brothel. Nuff Said.

Crusherdome 2a

Ticket InformationEdit

Below is the seating chart for the Crusherdome. Please do not call Ticketmaster as they won't know what the hell you are talking about.

Crusherdome 3

Draft PicksEdit

Season 1 - John Mater - Mater was a prospect Director Of Scouting Leroy Fitzgerald has been watching for quite some time. Fitzgerald said "I really liked to watch his ass."

TransactionsEdit

Season 2 - March 11, 2009 - With the fall of two teams, Legion Of Doom and Milos Profiles due to inept managing, the Crushers picked up two players off free agency when those two teams disbanded. The Crushers added to their already strong defensive core Carter Ostaba and Garth Faucette.

Season 2 - February 10, 2009 - Colins Crushers traded Money: $0.00 Player: Cory Mendibles (67) Player: Emmitt Gaisford (63) Goalie: Dylan Eilderts (60)

To the Ice Bats for Money: $0.00 Player: Dustin Cauffman (67) Player: Jan Wiggington (68)

Season 2 - February 1, 2009 - Colins Crushers traded Money: $465,000.00 Player: Manuel Beeghly (68) Player: Bret Chestnutt (67)

To Jack Flash for Money: $0.00 Player: Vrba Huyard (66)

Season 2 - February 1, 2009 - Colins Crushers traded Money: $0.00 Player: Herschel Carper (68) Player: Quintin Trinkle (66)

To the Oilers for Money: $0.00 Player: Oscar Fennema (67)

Season 1 - November 30, 2008 - The Crushers traded under-acheiving whiny snot nosed loser Angel Brereton (66) to the Eagles for up and coming star Kasey Ligonis (65).

Season-by-season recordEdit

Last Records Update - March 5, 2009

Note: GP = Games played, W = Wins, L = Losses, T = Ties, OTL = Overtime Losses, Pts = Points, GF = Goals for, GA = Goals against

Season Tier GP W L OTL Pts GF GA Finish
Season 1 C 38 34 3 1 69 177 51 1st
Season 2 C 18 15 3 0 30 75 18

Playoff Record

Season Tier GP W L Pts GF GA Finish Round 1 Round 2 Round 3
Season 1 C 7 5 2 10 24 14 2nd Won vs. AI 2-0 Won vs. The Eagles 2-0 Lost vs. Jack Flash 1-2
Season 2

TrophiesEdit

Silver Cup

Record BookEdit

Colins Crushers Team Season Records
Milestone Season #
Most Wins (W) 1 34
Most Losses (L) 1 3
Most Overtime Losses (OTL) 1 1
Most Points (PTS) 1 69
Best Win Percentage (W%) 1 91%
Most Goal For (GF) 1 177
Least Goals Against (GA) 1 51
Most Power Play Goals (PPG) 1 101
Best Power Play Percentage (PP%) 1 32%
Best Penalty Kill Percentage (PK%) 1 87%
Most Shots For (SHT) 1 1496
Least Shots Against (SHT AGT) 1 633
Best Face Off Percentage (FO%) 1 58%
Colins Crushers Team All-Time Season Records
Milestone #
Wins (W) 34
Losses (L) 3
Overtime Losses (OTL) 1
Win Percentage (W%) 91%
Goal For (GF) 177
Goals Against (GA) 51
Power Play Goals (PPG) 101
Shots For (SHT) 1496
Shots Against (SHT AGT) 633
Colins Crushers Goaltender Season Records
Milestone Player Season #
Games Played (GP) Dylan Eilderts 1 22
Most Wins (W) Dylan Eilderts 1 19
Most Losses (L) Dan Kwiatkowski 1 3
Most Shots Against (SA) Dylan Eilderts 1 379
Most Goals Against (GA) Dylan Eilderts 1 31
Best Goals Against Average (GAA) Dan Kwiatkowski 1 1.06
Most Saves (SV) Dylan Eilderts 1 348
Best Save Percentage (SV%) Dan Kwiatkowski 1 92.5
Most Shut Outs (SO) Dan Kwiatkowski 1 11
Most Goals (G) 2 Tied 1 0
Most Assists (A) Dylan Eilderts 1 2
Most Penalties In Minutes (PIM) 2 Tied 1 0
Colins Crushers Goaltender All-Time Season Records
Milestone Player #
Games Played (GP) Dylan Eilderts 22
Most Wins (W) Dylan Eilderts 19
Most Losses (L) Dan Kwiatkowski 3
Most Shots Against (SA) Dylan Eilderts 379
Most Goals Against (GA) Dylan Eilderts 31
Best Goals Against Average (GAA) Dan Kwiatkowski 1.06
Most Saves (SV) Dylan Eilderts 348
Best Save Percentage (SV%) Dan Kwiatkowski 92.5
Most Shut Outs (SO) Dan Kwiatkowski 11
Most Goals (G) 2 Ties 0
Most Assists (A) Dylan Eilderts 2
Most Penalties In Minutes (PIM) 2 Tied 0
Colins Crushers Player Season Records
Milestone Player Season #
Most Goals (G) Al Morar 1 25
Most Assists (A) Quintin Trinkle 1 46
Most Points (P) Quintin Trinkle 1 65
Best +/- Demarcus Richner 1 +21
Most Pentalties In Minutes (PIM) Rowton / Zakharov 1 52
Most Short Handed Goals (SHG) All Tied 1 0
Most Power Play Goals (PPG) Al Morar 1 17
Most Game Winning Goals (GWG) Alphonse Tocco 1 4
Most Overtime Goals (OTL) Tocco / Ligonis 1 1
Most Shots On Goal (SHT) Al Morar 1 202
Best Shooting Percentage (S%) Bret Chestnutt 1 35%
Colins Crushers Player All-Time Season Records
Milestone Player #
Most Games Played (GP) 9 Tied 38
Most Goals (G) Al Morar 25
Most Assists (A) Quintin Trinkle 46
Most Points (P) Quintin Trinkle 65
Best +/- Demarcus Richner +21
Most Pentalties In Minutes (PIM) Rowton / Zakharov 52
Most Short Handed Goals (SHG) All Tied 0
Most Power Play Goals (PPG) Al Morar 17
Most Game Winning Goals (GWG) Alphonse Tocco 4
Most Overtime Goals (OTL) Tocco / Ligonis 1
Most Shots On Goal (SHT) Al Morar 202
Best Shooting Percentage (S%) Bret Chestnutt 35%
Colins Crushers Coaches Season Records
Milestone Player Season #
Games Coached (GP) Lanny Elvin 1 38
Most Wins (W) Lanny Elvin 1 34
Most Losses (L) Lanny Elvin 1 3
Most Overtime Losses (OTL) Lanny Elvin 1 1
Best Winning Percentage (W%) Lanny Elvin 1 91%
Colins Crushers Coaches All-Time Season Records
Milestone Player #
Games Coached (GP) Lanny Elvin 38
Most Wins (W) Lanny Elvin 34
Most Losses (L) Lanny Elvin 3
Most Overtime Losses (OTL) Lanny Elvin 1
Best Winning Percentage (W%) Lanny Elvin 91%
Colins Crushers Team Playoff Season Records
Milestone Season #
Most Wins (W) 1 5
Most Losses (L) 1 2
Best Win Percentage (W%) 1 71%
Most Goal For (GF) 1 24
Most Goals Against (GA) 1 14
Most Power Play Goals (PPG) 1 12
Best Power Play Percentage (PP%) 1 20%
Best Penalty Kill Percentage (PK%) 1 88%
Most Shots For (SHT) 1 210
Most Shots Against (SHT AGT) 1 168
Best Face Off Percentage (FO%) 1 55%
Colins Crushers Team All-Time Playoff Season Records
Milestone #
Wins (W) 5
Losses (L) 2
Win Percentage (W%) 71%
Goal For (GF) 24
Goals Against (GA) 14
Power Play Goals (PPG) 12
Shots For (SHT) 210
Shots Against (SHT AGT) 168
Colins Crushers Coaches Playoff Season Records
Milestone Player Season #
Games Coached (GP) Lanny Elvin 1 7
Most Wins (W) Lanny Elvin 1 5
Most Losses (L) Lanny Elvin 1 2
Best Winning Percentage (W%) Lanny Elvin 1 71%
Colins Crushers Coaches Playoff All-Time Records
Milestone Player #
Games Coached (GP) Lanny Elvin 7
Most Wins (W) Lanny Elvin 5
Most Losses (L) Lanny Elvin 2
Best Winning Percentage (W%) Lanny Elvin 71%

Current RosterEdit

Goaltenders
# Name Age Catches Acquired Place of Birth OA rating
72 Canada Lorenzo Ludeman 38 L Season 2 via F.A. Colchester, Ontario 78
37 Canada Fidel Angert 20 R Season 2 via F.A. Agerton, Ontario 68
Defensemen
# Name Age Hand Acquired Place of Birth OA rating
85 Sweden John Mater 21 R Season 2 via D.P. Skara, Sweden 77
45 Canada Monroe Dunwoody 19 R Season 2 via F.A. Grunthal, Manitoba 74
93 Slovakia Vrba Huyard Grinder 19 R Season 2 via trade Poprad, Slovakia 74
84 Canada Carter Ostaba 19 L Season 2 via F.A. Invermere, British Columbia 73
40 Canada Tomas Winter "A" 33 L Season 1 - via F.A. Gaspe, Quebec 72
88 Finland Pertti Culberth 33 L Season 2 via F.A. Hanko, Finland 67
Forwards
# Name Position Age Hand Acquired Place of Birth OA rating
57 Canada Maximo Deschambeault "C" Sniper C 31 L Season 2 via F.A. Royston, British Columbia 87
90 Usa Jack Njie "A" Power play RW 24 R Season 2 via F.A. Waldorf, Maryland 79
5 Canada Humberto Naschke Sniper LW 21 L Season 2 via F.A. Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta 74
82 Usa Al Morar "A" LW 25 L Season 1 Nacogdoches, Texas 72
17 Usa Coy Ragar RW 24 R Season 1 via F.A. Muncie, Indiana 72
9 Canada Alphonse Tocco LW 21 L Season 1 White Fox, Saskatchewan 71
27 Usa Dustin Cauffman C 22 R Season 2 via Trade Valparaiso, Indiana 71
38 Canada Kasey Ligonis RW 26 R Season 1 - via Trade Vermillion, Alberta 70
41 Sweden Sigurd Milholland C 23 R Season 2 via F.A. Ludvika, Sweden 70
4 Canada Jan Wiggington C 25 R Season 2 via Trade Amos, Quebec 70
90 Canada Oscar Fennema Sniper RW 19 R Season 2 via Trade Nigadoo, New Brunswick 69
44 Canada Marlon Goza LW 33 L Season 2 via F.A. Ethelbert, Manitoba 67
Prospects
# Name Position Age Hand Acquired Place of Birth OA rating
4 Canada Levi Firkins C 21 R Season 1 Ormstown, Quebec 71
61 Canada Rudy Swallows RW 26 R Season 1 Northampton, New Brunswick 69
87 Canada Stuart Alkana Sniper RW 25 R Season 1 Lindsay, Ontario 69
60 Canada Jame Klosinski LW 24 L Season 1 Qualicum Beach, British Columbia 69
86 Usa Lenny Castlen C 19 L Season 1 Newburgh, New York 69
43 Canada Garth Faucette D 21 R Season 2 via F.A. Preeceville, Saskatchewan 68
64 Canada Valentin Masturzo D 34 R Season 2 via F.A. Delson, Quebec 67
33 Canada Raphael Seckler D 36 R Season 2 via F.A. Britannia Beach, British Columbia 66
Staff
Name Position Age Hand Acquired Place of Birth OA rating
Canada Colin Parada Owner/GM 34 Season 1 Eckville, Alberta
Canada Lanny Elvin Head Coach 45 Season 1 Duck Bay, Manitoba 89
Canada Mike Hunt Ass. Coach 43 Season 1 Stauffer, Alberta
Canada Fred Flarphenharphen Ass. Coach 45 Season 1 Rocky Mtn House, Alberta


All Time Crushers Player StatsEdit

In Alphabetical Order Of Last Name

Goaltenders
Name Season GP W L SA GA GAA SV SV% SO G A PIM
Angert, Fidel 2
Totals
Name Season GP W L SA GA GAA SV SV% SO G A PIM
Eilderts, Dylan 1 22 19 2 379 31 1.51 348 91.8 5 0 2 0
Totals 22 19 2 379 31 1.51 348 91.8 5 0 2 0
Name Season GP W L SA GA GAA SV SV% SO G A PIM
Kwiatkowski, Dan 1 19 16 3 254 19 1.06 235 92.5 11 0 0 0
Kwiatkowski, Dan 2
Totals 19 16 3 254 19 1.06 235 92.5 11 0 0 0
Name Season GP W L SA GA GAA SV SV% SO G A PIM
Ludeman, Lorenzo 2
Totals
Players
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Alkana, Stuart 1 27 6 6 12 13 10 0 3 1 0 66 9% 65%
Alkana, Stuart 2
Totals 27 6 6 12 13 10 0 3 1 0 66 9% 65%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Beeghly, Manuel 1 38 3 8 11 20 24 0 0 0 0 10 30% 0%
Totals 38 3 8 11 20 24 0 0 0 0 10 30% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Carper, Herschel 1 24 0 9 9 9 8 0 0 0 0 16 0% 59%
Totals 24 0 9 9 9 8 0 0 0 0 16 0% 59%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Castlen, Lenny 1 38 9 10 19 19 10 0 0 1 0 62 14% 61%
Castlen, Lenny 2
Totals 38 9 10 19 19 10 0 0 1 0 62 14% 61%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Cauffman, Dustin 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Chestnutt, Bret 1 17 5 0 5 9 18 0 0 1 0 14 35% 0%
Totals 17 5 0 5 9 18 0 0 1 0 14 35% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Deschambeault, Maximo 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Dunwoody, Monroe 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Ermakov, Modest 1 18 5 3 8 12 6 0 0 2 0 29 17% 47%
Totals 18 5 3 8 12 6 0 0 2 0 29 17% 47%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Fennema, Oscar 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Firkins, Levi 1 23 3 3 6 2 6 0 2 0 0 44 6% 55%
Firkins, Levi 2
Totals 23 3 3 6 2 6 0 2 0 0 44 6% 55%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Gaisford, Emmitt 1 11 5 2 7 5 4 0 0 3 0 16 31% 42%
Totals 11 5 2 7 5 4 0 0 3 0 16 31% 42%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Huyard, Vrba 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Klosinski, Jame 1 14 1 0 1 3 10 0 0 0 0 25 4% 42%
Klosinski, Jame 2
Totals 14 1 0 1 3 10 0 0 0 0 25 4% 42%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Lehberger, Isiah 1 33 12 36 48 9 32 0 9 0 0 151 7% 62%
Totals 33 12 36 48 9 32 0 9 0 0 151 7% 62%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Ligonis, Kasey 1 22 11 4 15 6 10 0 8 1 1 97 11% 0%
Ligonis, Kasey 2
Totals 22 11 4 15 6 10 0 8 1 1 97 11% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Malamud, Stephen 1 24 1 4 5 4 12 0 1 1 0 25 4% 100%
Totals 24 1 4 5 4 12 0 1 1 0 25 4% 100%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Mater, John 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Mendibles, Cory 1 33 5 4 9 9 10 0 0 3 0 37 13% 61%
Totals 33 5 4 9 9 10 0 0 3 0 37 13% 61%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Milholland, Sigurd 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Morar, Al 1 38 25 11 36 13 16 0 17 3 0 202 12% 52%
Morar, Al 2
Totals 38 25 11 36 13 16 0 17 3 0 202 12% 52%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Naschke, Humberto 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Njie, Jack 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Ragar, Coy 1 14 1 4 5 9 4 0 0 0 0 17 5% 67%
Ragar, Coy 2
Totals 14 1 4 5 9 4 0 0 0 0 17 5% 67%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Richner, Demarcus 1 38 0 5 5 21 26 0 0 0 0 5 0% 0%
Totals 38 0 5 5 21 26 0 0 0 0 5 0% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Rissell, Ernest 1 38 6 11 17 18 42 0 5 1 0 38 15% 0%
Rissell, Ernest 2 8 0 0 0 0 4 0 0 0 0 4 0% 0%
Totals 46 6 11 17 18 46 0 5 1 0 42 14% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Rowton, Ricky 1 33 3 11 14 13 52 0 1 1 0 36 8% 0%
Rowton, Ricky 2 8 0 0 0 3 6 0 0 0 0 3 0% 0%
Totals 41 3 11 14 16 58 0 1 1 0 39 7% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Swallows, Rudy 1 38 19 17 36 8 36 0 12 3 0 159 11% 58%
Swallows, Rudy 2
Totals 38 19 17 36 8 36 0 12 3 0 159 11% 58%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Tocco, Alphonse 1 35 21 15 36 12 28 0 15 4 1 157 13% 46%
Tocco, Alphonse 2
Totals 35 21 15 36 12 28 0 15 4 1 157 13% 46%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Trinkle, Quintin 1 38 19 46 65 13 28 0 14 3 0 151 12% 59%
Totals 38 19 46 65 13 28 0 14 3 0 151 12% 59%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Wiggington, Jan 2
Totals
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Winter, Tomas 1 38 5 10 15 17 42 0 4 1 0 31 16% 0%
Winter, Tomas 2
Totals 38 5 10 15 17 42 0 4 1 0 31 16% 0%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
Zakharov, Saveliy 1 38 7 15 22 16 52 0 6 1 0 47 14% 50%
Zakharov, Saveliy 2 9 1 2 3 5 12 0 0 0 0 7 14% 63%
Totals 47 8 17 25 21 64 0 6 1 0 54 14% 56%
Name Season GP G A P +/- PIM SHG PPG GWG OTG SHT S% FO%
2
Totals
Coaches
Name Season GP W L OTL W%
Elvin, Lanny 1 38 34 3 1 91%
Elvin, Lanny 2
Totals 38 34 3 1 91%

Recent NewsEdit

Season 2 - February 27, 2009 - Hoping for some divine intervention, the Crushers set up a throne for the Pope at a recent game against Eldonsreallydecentguys. The Pope seemed to enjoy the game and helped the Crushers to a 4-1 victory.

Pope with hockey stick

Season 2 - February 14, 2009 - Team Captain Maximo Deschambeault signed the Crushers up with the Make A Wish Foundation in early February. It didn't take long to get a request. Monty the monkey requested to practice with the Crushers once before being sent off to become glue or whatever they do with old mentally challenged monkey's.

Hockey Monkey

Season 2 - February 3, 2009 - Knowing their team would be in tough against the Crushers, Jack Flash players took it upon themselves to sway the refs their way.

Blow a ref

Season 2 - January 28, 2009 - The Crushers knew the Oilers goaltending was weak so the Crushers agreed to shoot beach balls instead of pucks. It did not help as the Crushers went on to defeat the Oilers 6-1.

Beach Ball Goalie

Season 1 - December 12, 2008 - Crusher owner Colin Parada built the new Crusher Web Site. Parada was quoted as saying "I can't believe I did this, any retard can do it, even Jack!" Apparently by the picture, Jack does have a hard time with electronics.

Retard at a keyboard

Season 1 - December 7, 2008 - During a home loss against their rival Jack Flash, Crusher fans took out their frustrations on the referee. Referee Chong Wei stated "Lon gey soo mow tu chee" which loosely translated means I am gay.

Idiot Ref

Season 1 - November 2, 2008 - At the Crushers home opener, loud chanting from outside drowned out the boisterous crowd inside chanting "Free The Bears, Free The Bears". Before the game, Crushers owner Colin Parada recruited two polar bears and gave them hockey sticks to see what would happen. PETA is investigating.

Polar bears

Employment OppritunitiesEdit

Locker Room Attendent - The Crushers are currently looking for a female locker room attendent. The applicant should be blonde, no taller than 5'6", weight around 115 lbs, have a bra size of 36DD and not easily disgusted by ball sweat. Please forward a photo to the Crushers Administrative Office.

Crushers ShopEdit

All items below are available at the CrusherShop in the CrusherDome...if you can find it...

Move your mouse over each item for a description.

Crusher BannerCrusher ChairCrusher HatCrusher Hoodie

Crusher Leather JacketCrusher License PlateCrusher Mouse PadCrusher MugsCrusher DildoCrusher ThongCrusher Underwear

Crusher PillowCrusher PuckCrusher Sleeping BagCrusher Welcome MatCrusher Woman Shirt

Crushers Jersey

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